Have
you ever been scared out of your mind? I don't mean scary movie marathon
scared, I mean life or death situation kind of scared. The kind of fear that
stops you dead in your tracks and kind of takes over your life. That’s the kind
of fear that I’m talking about because that is what I experienced during my
year as a Dietetic Intern. Now, not every intern will have the experience I had
as not every intern will be told by their doctor that they have squamous-cell
growths on their reproductive system. Not every intern will have to have
surgery during Spring Break to remove the un-invited “tumor babies” so that
they can be biopsied to find out if they are malignant or not. Not every intern
would even survive the stress of that situation, but this intern did (*humble
brag*).
Now,
there’s obviously no ideal time to have to try to have a life and to have to
deal with a potential cancer diagnosis looming over your head, but it can be managed.
People will tell you to stay positive and they will tell you that its ok to cry
and others will just ignore what you’re going through and pretend like nothing
is wrong and like you have no extra stress on your life. You’ll get stressed
and have terrible nights of sleep, but you can still function effectively as
you start to realize that you want to have a meaningful impact on people’s
lives right now. You’ll be angry and be in a constant state of pain because
almost-cancer is kind of painful, and no one warns you about that. But somehow
you pull on those professional clothes every day and walk into that hospital
with your head up because those patients still need you to try to help them.
Then
you have your oncology rotation. Doesn't that just sound lovely to talk to
people with cancer as you are waiting to learn if you have cancer? Let me just
tell you, you bond with these patients and you take their lessons and bring
them home with you, just in case. And seeing them, hearing their stories, and relating
to them brings you some of your life back. Almost all of the patients and
people that I talked to that were undergoing active treatment had the same
thing in common, they cared about their bodies and they took care of themselves
in every way possible. And then you get inspired.
Not
everyone will react the same way, but I’m telling you, the people who have
cancer know their stuff when it comes to health. They know what medications
their taking, the dosage, how much exercise they need to do, how much water to
drink, how to be mentally healthy, and, most importantly, how to eat a
well-balanced, healthful diet. Now, the last one might be easy for a dietetic
intern to comprehend and to live out. It is, after all, our whole career path.
However, when you are tired and sick and in pain, cooking and eating healthy
foods are not on the top of your priority list. In fact, eating is not even
really on your mind and you certainly don't want to put a lot of effort into
cooking when you’re just going to eat a few bites and then move on. But that’s
not what we preach to our clients, and for the ones thriving with cancer, they
don't recommend living like that either. So, I got my butt into gear and
started to shop for more wholesome foods. I focused on getting some good
protein sources into my diet so that I could maintain my muscle and have a
little bit stored up before surgery so healing would go smoother (and it really
worked! I was completely healed up in about 1-2 weeks). I also increased my
fiber and probiotic intake so that my gut would have some of those good
bacteria to help my body heal and to keep all important processed working well
(like regular bowel movements because no one is happy if they’re not regular).
I added more antioxidant rich foods to just get all the good nutrients starting
to work through my system. Finally, I ate for pleasure. It’s a simple concept,
but it’s so important for everyone, whether they’re sick or not, to eat with
some pleasure every single day. An ice cream cake isn’t the most healthful
thing and it really didn't provide me with any nutrient that I was focusing on,
but man did it make me feel good. And it made me start to enjoy my food a
little more again, so I ate a little more, and just relaxed. Not much you can
do when your body decides to grow tumor babies besides get a little mad at it,
but still treat it right anyways. You know, just treat it like real children,
but with none of the financial burden of a real kid.
In the end, I got the surgery, they did the
biopsies, and they did not find any malignancies. Just squamous cells hanging
out, causing some mischief, but ultimately doing no harm. And as relieving as
that was, I felt a little sad that I couldn't get more personal experiences
with others that do have cancer. They helped open my eyes up to how I treat my
body and how important it is to just pay attention to you and what your body is
telling you. No matter what, your body is smarter than you and it will do
whatever it wants. So treat it well, show it some love, feed it, and use it to
live. And, above all else, stay sexy and don’t grow tumor babies (they’re not
as cute as human babies).
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