Written by: Haley Jensen, SLU Dietetic Intern
With the Holidays quickly approaching, you may find yourself cornered in unwanted conversations about diet and weight loss. This is one of the busiest seasons of the year, often surrounded by friends, acquaintances and family. For a lot of people talking about diets feels like a “safe topic”. It’s often thought of as a causal conversation, just like discussing the weather. Even though the people you are around are comfortable discussing diets and diet culture doesn’t mean you have to be. This guide is meant to inspire you and give you tools to navigate uncomfortable conversations. Ultimately my hope is that the sample responses and coping techniques provided give you a sense of comfort and confidence this holiday season and beyond.
Helpful reminders
More than likely this holiday season you will find yourself in diet/weight-talk and you many not be sure what to say. Understand that its okay, building comfort around diet talk conversation takes time.
You’re not always going to have the “perfect“ thing to say.
You are allowed to say the “wrong” thing. There might be times where you need to take a break and not say anything at all.
You’re allowed to have boundaries.
You get to decide how much you share about your recovery, your relationship with food, your feeling towards your body and how your past experiences have brought you to where you are now. You do not need to have any conversations that make you uncomfortable.
You don’t always have to be a vocal advocate for anti-diet culture.
Conversations defending diet culture can sometimes be exhausting. It is perfectly acceptable to not educate up to your friends and family on the determinants of diet culture for a day.
Tips for Social Events
This season is filled with cocktail parties and mixers. Your might be meeting a lot of new people and the conversations surrounding diet culture are popular around the hors d’oeuvres table.
Your coworker is talking about their own diet/exercise plan… and they won’t stop.
- “I actually made a New Year’s Resolution to always talk about something new at parties- don’t you feel like we always talk about diets? Have you seen any good movies recently?”
Your friend makes a comment about having to “make up” for the holidays at the gym and asks you to join
- “You know that’s not how bodies work, there‘s really no need to make up for what the food we eat. I prefer to just enjoy delicious food with people I care about”
An acquaintance says “oh we are being so bad aren’t we”
- “The only bad foods are the foods that you stole”
- “My only food rule is that I don’t eat foods that are poisoned”
Tips for Family Events
We love our families but that doesn’t mean they can’t cross the line sometime. Navigating conversations gently can be difficult but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t say something if you want to.
Your aunt says “wow, you’ve lost so much weight since last time we saw you!”
- “I know I used to talk about diets and weight with you but I’ve recently realized it makes me feel pretty anxious, but I would love to talk about something else. Tell me how your and your family has been.”
Your cousin comments on your plate “oh, so calories don’t count today, do they?”
- “Actually, I don’t count calories today or any day. I prefer to let my body tell me what it needs, and today it needs my favorite holiday meals.”
A sibling tells you about the new diet their coworker is on
- “I love spending time talking with you but I would prefer if we talked about ourselves. I saw you went to Florida recently how was your trip?”
Overcoming Triggers
Now that we have discussed how to respond to diet talk, its important to understand how to not let those words someone said effect you negatively. You have chosen to take a journey into avoiding diet culture and its important to not let the word of someone else trigger you into diet, or feeling guilt for not participating in diet culture.
Work on your mindset
· Use mantras and affirmations to help you remember why you’re trying to avoid diet conversations, some examples include:
- I understand that the holidays are about creating memories, and I won’t let food rules ruin that
- I will show my body that it can trust me by not restricting food
- I am more than the food I eat
- I give my body permission to change
- It’s okay to not know what my body needs right now, I am figuring it out
Have coping mechanisms ready
- Breath work- focus on your conscious awareness of your inhales and exhales. Using deep and focused breathing to create a therapeutic and calming effect. There are a variety of apps and techniques available.
- Create a happiness folder of photos on your phone filled with photos that cheer you up.
References
https://colleenchristensennutrition.com/diet-talk-how-to-respond-what-to-say/
https://alissarumsey.com/how-to-respond-to-diet-talk/
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/thanksgiving-weight-diet-talk-advice/2021/11/08/2d4c4a3e-4007-11ec-9ea7-3eb2406a2e24_story.html
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